Hi new journal! Today is a big day for me. I have been out of the hospital for 3 months, living on my own without the constant support I had during my last stay at Belmont. Some people, including myself, wondered if I could really do this, if I would last this long without falling back into my usual pattern of self-destruction. But here I am, doing pretty damn good I must say! My commitment to recovery is constantly being tested, but I believe that only makes it stronger. I am learning, through practice, how to deal with life one moment at a time and work through my fears. Sure, I still give into the urges to hid and escape from life instead of living it at times. But every time I make the healthy choice, I gain that much more confidence in myself and the progress I am making towards a better life. A life free of crazy food obsessions and depression and mean voices. I'm not there yet, not even close, but I have faith that day will come. When I have inner peace and a sense of control over my own destiny and nothing can hold me back from finding and fulfilling my true mission in life, whatever that may be.